Judges Heidi Klum, Howie Mandel and Howard Stern pose with this year’s “America’s Got Talent” Top 10. (Photo property of NBC’s Peter Kramer)
By: Jacob Elyachar, jakes-take.com
Before I get started with this recap, I want to take a moment to do a mini-editorial!
Shame on you, “America’s Got Talent” viewers for not recognizing talent when you see it. Instead of selecting an explosive line-up that would have helped Howard Stern gracefully exit the NBC talent competition with pride, we now have questionable acts that DO NOT DESERVE TO BE COMPETING FOR THE $1,000,000 PRIZE!
Instead of powerful performers such as Samantha Johnson, Sharon Irving, Alicia Michilli, Siro-A and Freelusion showcasing their $1,000,000 worthy talents, we now have an abysmal freak show (The Professional Regurgitator), an average comedian-magician who is clearly out of his league (Derek Hughes) and an act that the King of All Media clearly stated did not deserve a second chance (Uzeyer) competing against outstanding acts such as Oz Pearlman, Piff the Magic Dragon, Paul Zerdin, the CraigLewis Band and Drew Lynch. Sadly, this is the second time in four years that there has not been a female presence in the “AGT” finale and I STRONGLY BELIEVE that Samantha Johnson, Sharon Irving and Alicia Michilli should have occupied Stevie, Derek and Uzeyer’s spots!
I was very tempted to give these guys automatic Fs for their final performances. However, I decided to let them showcase why they were worthy or unworthy of your votes. I hope your proud of your dreadful voting, America!
(End of rant/editorial)
With the help of the Radio City Rockettes, Flo Rida kicked off a routine with his collaboration with Robin Thicke and Verdine White, “I Don’t Like It, I Love It.” I wished that both the “Blurred Lines” singer and the Earth, Wind & Fire guitarist joined Flo Rida and the Rockettes on stage.
After the judges made their entrance, Nick revealed that AGT was the most tweeted about reality TV show of the summer! He also introduced one of my personal favorites: former Wall Street guru turned mentalist Oz Pearlman. For his final routine, he did the impossible and got the judges involved in his routine. He asked them to swear on their favorite people. Howard chose his deceased bulldog: Bianca; Heidi picked her partner-in-crime, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Mel B chose her husband, Stefan, and Howie chose one of Mel B’s kids. As all four judges went up to the Radio City Music Hall stage, they played musical chairs. If a viewer were compared the judges’ seats to The Voice coach layout, the girls took the Adam-Blake corners and the guys chose Pharrell/Gwen and Christina/Usher spots. Next, he asked the judges to pick numbers (Howie: 5; Heidi: 3; Mel B: 1; Howard: 2) and asked them to reveal four X’s. On the other side of the Xs, there were different colors and the judges were all in the correctly colored chairs and correctly predicted and identified who the judges were going to swear on! Brilliant trick, Oz! A+
Vaudevillian Uzeyer Novruzov delivered impeccable performance after impeccable performance. Then, the semifinals happened and he fell from his ladder. I could not believe America would put him in over Freelusion, Sharon Irving or Samantha Johnson. It just didn’t make sense. Now, if I were on the panel…I would pull a Piers Morgan and press my buzzer right away! Yes, he did a spectacular routine but this performance was worth a $1,000,000 and I would rather have had a spectacular performance from either Samantha Johnson or Sharon Irving! F
While I admire Benton Blunt’s dedication of chasing his dream, I would have liked to have seen either Samantha, Sharon, Alicia Michilli or Alondra Santos in his spot. But, since Benton is the singer that America wants to see I will try to be nice with my critique. He chose One Direction’s “Story of My Life” as his final choice, which is a lethal decision. The song did not translate well to me and he looked like the second comings of both the worthless chicken catcher Kevin Skinner and former X Factor USA champion Tate “Who?” Stevens. I rather have seen Benton go with a Garth Brooks, Tim McGraw or Blake Shelton track. In all honesty, he squandered his chances of winning! C-
Comedian Gary Vider has been one of my favorite comedians this entire competition! His comedy is the perfect antithesis to golden boy Drew Lynch. His jokes targeted North Korea, Caitlyn Jenner, his ex-girlfriend, Ryan Gosling and Birthright Israel! I loved his material and I really hope that CAA adds him to their talent roster. B+
Comedic magician Piff the Magic Dragon has been one of my favorite performers this season! I loved every routine and strongly believe that he has a future after the show. First, he asked Howie for $20 and asked him to write his name on the bill and Piff transformed it to one voucher. It was up for Mr. Piffles to perform a magic trick and he wanted to go out with a bang! Heidi looked shocked at the sight of the cannon. He admitted that Mr. Piffles did not complete the trick and gave Heidi-“Mr. Piffles’” nuts that contained Howie’s signed $20 bill. I hope that Piff heads to Las Vegas soon! A
After checking in with Best Time Ever host Neil Patrick Harris, it was time for ventriloquist Paul Zerdin. He might be the next Terry Fator if America votes for him. For his final act, Paul introduced us to Sam’s grandfather, Albert. I loved seeing Albert flirting with Heidi. Up next was the baby who wanted Paul to sing a lullaby (did not work). Next, he brought Sam up and they switched voices! It was a great routine from start-to-finish and it was worthy of a $1,000,000 prize. A
Longtime friends The CraigLewis Band closed out the music portion of the show. For their final song, the duo chose to cover Madcon’s “Beggin’.” In all honesty, I was very unfamiliar with the tune…but the duo delivered probably one of the best vocal performances of the season. They took everyone to church and showcased why they should be the first musical duo to win AGT. A+
I would have automatically buzzed magician Derek Hughes just as he walked across the stage. In all honesty, he made a big mistake bringing out a DJ and dancers…it finally showcased what I thought all along…he is a cocky magician that is way out of his league, did not belong on the Radio City Music Hall stage and does not deserve the $1,000,000 prize! F
I am going to say this for one final time: The Professional Regurgitator is a disgusting human being…who belongs in a freak show and not on the Las Vegas strip! F to infinity
Comedian Drew Lynch closed out the night. This was full circle for the stuttering comedian who was the final act in the premiere episode and was the first person to receive the Golden Buzzer from one of the judges: Howie Mandel. As he walked out to Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe,” Drew made fun of the possibility of being a parent and when he finally gave his phone number and e-mail to his girlfriend. I thought he went out for a bang and the world is his oyster! A+
The acts that should be in the Final Five: Oz Pearlman, Piff the Magic Dragon, Paul Zerdin, The CraigLewis Band & Drew Lynch
Tomorrow night, the $1,000,000 winner will be crowned!
